It just hit me yesterday that my birthday is going to be in two weeks. I’m going to be turning 28 this year. This is usually a normal occurrence for me; for some reason I don’t realize my birthday is coming until a few days before it, and, like every year, I am shocked that I am one year older and the feeling of impending doom towards turning 30 lingers with me for a few days. However, this year was slightly different. Although I was shocked, I accepted the fact that I am turning 28 within a few days. In fact, I’m considering myself 28 years old two weeks early!
Now, I’m usually a goofball and, for better or worse, I act like a little kid no mater what age I am. So in these rare moments of maturity, let me try to explain why I think I accepted 28 so fast. I think it’s because I had a nice talk with my parents, and I woke up to the fact that things have changed and it’s OKAY. I finally got back the feeling that nothing can stop me and everything is in my control.
I had a really good talk with my parents that very day, which made me take a look at things I already knew from before (like my last two points) but was not really acknowledged. It was more or less the same talk we always have every few months about life, growing up and/or responsibilities. However, while talking to them I realized what kind of effect I have on them and how much they love me and are trying to make me happy. I believe once you realize that what your parents really want for you is to be happy, you start to take a step back and realize why they do the things they do. From there, you can start managing your relationship and their expectations better.
That very same day, I somehow realized that most of my friends are married or engaged and my best friend is no longer in the country (this is after he left about a year or so ago ). I started thinking about my career differently, however, I myself seem to not change and I’m holding onto something without even knowing it. We often think things in our lives that things are constant while everything is always naturally changing. Think about it. Your town does not look the same as it did 5 or 10 years ago, your maturity and thought process is not the same, you may not have the same friends or your relationship with your friends is not the same (maybe better or maybe worse). Now here is the important part. IT…IS…OKAY. Accepting the fact that things in your life WILL CHANGE is one of the best things you can do. Once you do, you can start living and enjoying it instead of fighting it. Guess what? It’s natural to fight change because we tend to stay in our comfort zone where nothing bad can happen to us. However, your comfort zone is where nothing good happens to you as well. Don’t get me wrong, a comfort zone is a great thing to have but that does not mean your comfort zone itself can’t change. You never know, it may change into something better.
When I graduated college I was like any other early 20s, young adult, who felt like he can take on the world and nothing can stop him. With me, however, I always thought it was more than just that. If I wanted to travel, I could have. If I wanted to be an astronaut, I could have been. If I wanted a burger for dinner, I can make it happen and nothing can stop me. I felt that anything I wanted would happen because it always did. There was always a path to what I wanted, I just had to find it. Then, after a while something happened. I forgot how to want. I always knew what I needed (the basics) but did not know what I wanted. The worst part is that I did not realize that this was happening until I lost a special relationship with someone simply because I did not know that I wanted it. This was a very difficult time of my life as well because I almost died in a car accident and was trying to deal with that as well. So, what happened to make me learn how to want? To tell you the truth, I saw how miserable people were. If you asked them if they were happy they would either say no or “I guess”, while they have no reason as to why they feel that way. So, I started to observe a little closer. I came to the conclusion that most people believe there is only one path based on choices they have made like to get married or not, Job A or Job B, to move to a different country or not. Although they are not upset with the path they took, they often wish they could have more than one path or certain things from other paths. So I thought to myself, “Am I just like them? Do I want other paths? Did I even choose to want the path I am on?” Then all of a sudden I stopped thinking. What the hell is stopping me from creating my own path? Who says, just because you’re married you need to be boring and not travel if you wanted? Who says Job A is batter than Job B (or vice versa)? Job B can be what you make it, and you can make it 10 times better than Job A whether it is or not! Who says you can’t have kids and run a marathon? Who says A + B is the best way to C? NO ONE!. YOU LIVE YOUR LIFE THE WAY YOU WANT TO LIVE IT! Whatever that entails! This is what gives me comfort, nothing can stop me because nothing really can. There is always a way if you don’t think of your life as segments. All the examples I gave are real. There are people who take there children sailing around the world for a year. There are moms that run triathlons, there are billionaires that started their companies that have not finished school. Create and shape your path for the better.
So what my final thought is: simply, only love those who love you back, shit will happen and so will changes just try to look at is positively. Live before it is too late (nothing can stop you)! As for turning 28, I have a friend that always asks me, on any given day, how old are you today? I think today I will be…